GOOD MANNERS

“God gave me good manners (adab), and He rendered my manners in the best way.”
(Kanz al-Ummal, 7:214)
Adab is an Arabic word for literature, which has a wider frame of connotation associated with good manners, gentleness, elegance, refinement, and perfection. It has often been interpreted in relation to a person’s lifestyle, conduct, and integrity and as a means to the flourishing of that person in spirituality and purification of the heart. The Messenger of God is the paragon of adab. No matter which meaning of the word adab is considered as far as this hadith is concerned, good manners or power of expression, the Messenger of God is always the epitome of both.
One day Abu Bakr asked the Prophet: “O Messenger of God! Who gave you such good manners?” The Prophet replied: “God gave me adab (good manners) and He rendered my manners in the best way.”
Aisha, the daughter of Abu Bakr and the wife of the Prophet, was asked about the morals of the Prophet. She replied: “Don’t you ever read the Qur’an?” Her audience answered to the affirmative. She then continued: “His morals were the Qur’an.”
The Prophet was granted such great manners by the Creator that he reached the peak of morality; those who seek the real meaning of manners should examine the courteous Prophet’s actions and behavior and transfer this into their own way of living.
God created His Messenger with the greatest manners and behavior, as a model to all mankind; on the contrary, it is difficult to imagine the great burden that the noble Prophet shouldered with such a mission. He carried the responsibility of all his followers. If Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, had not been endowed with such exalted mannerism it is likely that he would have made errors in his behavior like any ordinary person; however, unlike the rest of us, his mistakes would have been reflected and amplified by his followers. Prophet Muhammad was not answerable for himself alone; rather, he shouldered the responsibility for his entire community. This is why God created His Messenger with outstanding morals and behavior and sent Him as a beautiful example for mankind.
Prophet Muhammad was known for his good deeds and actions; sometime prior to his Prophethood, restoration work was being carried out in Ka‘ba. The Messenger helped the workers to repair and rebuild the holy house. His uncle Abbas threw his gown over his shoulder to prevent any stones from injuring him. He saw that the Prophet’s shoulder was grazed and sore from the heavy stones, so his uncle advised him to do the same; however doing so would have exposed the upper part of his thigh (which was later forbidden by Islam). Suddenly an angel appeared before him and the Prophet fainted, falling to the ground. He never again contemplated on such a thought, for he was under the protection of the Creator, even well before his Prophethood.
The Prophet once said: “I had the intention of taking part in a wedding ceremony when I was young, and on both occasions I was overpowered by sleep; when I woke up the wedding had long finished.”
These are all events that happened before he was blessed with the Prophethood.
Throughout his lifetime God never gave his Messenger any reason or the opportunity to commit any inappropriate action in any way; this is an exceptional condition that was granted to the Prophet alone.
It is not surprising that this was the case, for when he was a young child his chest was opened by the angels and any tendency or trace of evil was removed. The target of the Devil’s arrow, the black spot that is found in every human heart, was removed from the Prophet’s heart when he was very young. The Devil instigates within us apprehension and suspicion, he runs through our veins, impelling us to evil; but he was unable to even approach God’s Messenger, for he was an exceptional person.
The Almighty never gave his Messenger the chance to do evil or to sin, either prior to or during his Prophethood; he lived a life of purity from the day he was born until he departed from the universe and he was the embodiment of good manners.
The good manners and behavior of Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, remained with him throughout his entire life; his every move or action reflected his virtuous manners. Although it was a rare occasion, the Prophet became upset or frustrated upon certain cases, but this too was due to his good manners as well. There was always a valid reason for his anger, and it was in response to injustice.
A Bedouin came to the Prophet while he was with the Companions and harshly pulling at the Prophet’s collar, demanded justice; the Bedouin pulled the Prophet’s collar so hard that a mark remained on his neck. This greatly upset the Companions, but the Prophet just smiled and told him in a calm voice, “Give this man what he asks for.” This event is one of the hundreds of examples that indicates the depth and breadth of Prophet Muhammad’s great tolerance.
There are many situations in which even the most sedate person justly becomes annoyed or frustrated, but even under these conditions the morals of the Prophet shone through like the gleaming sun. The following is just one of the most dramatic examples:
The Prophet had dream shortly before setting out for the Battle of Uhud; this dream led the Prophet to believe that remaining in Medina and forming a defensive battle would be more appropriate, and he approached the Companions saying, “We should remain in Medina.” However, the Companions were so excited and keen to fight for the sake of Islam that such excitement clouded their judgment.
So they set off for Uhud, with the Prophet personally taking command and organizing the army in the best possible way; the enemy began to flee after the first attack, but the archers had not grasped the fine point of obeying the Prophet’s command accurately and abandoned their posts.
As a result, sixty-nine Muslims was martyred, among them the Prophet’s uncle Hamza; every man on the battlefield was injured and some of them carried the pain of these wounds for the rest of their lives. But even more importantly, the greatest injury for the Muslims was that the honor of Islam had been damaged.
Such behavior by an army would have angered any other leader and under normal circumstances the Prophet could have treated those around him harshly; but God the Omniscient prevented the Prophet from acting harshly, protecting and guiding him. God revealed:
It was by a mercy from God that (at the time of the setback), you (O Messenger) were lenient with them (your Companions). Had you been harsh and hard-hearted, they would surely have scattered away from about you. Then pardon them, pray for their forgiveness, and take counsel with them in the affairs (of public concern); and when you are resolved (on a course of action), put your trust in God. Surely God loves those who put their trust (in Him). (Al- Imran 3:159)
The Prophet was a person who commanded great respect; indeed, the Merciful One addressed His Messenger in the same way. For instance, instead of saying “Do not be harsh hearted,” the Creator addressed the Prophet, revealing: “Had you been harsh and hard-hearted,” that is, “you are not harsh.”