THE VALUE OF FAMILY TIES

“Know your relatives to maintain family bonds with (sila al-rahm ). Surely, maintaining family bonds results in love between relatives, increase in wealth and lengthening in one’s life.”
(Tirmidhi, Birr, 49; Ahmad ibn Hanbal, Musnad, 2:374)
The relationship between Prophet Adam and Prophet David must be one of the greatest examples of the extension of one’s lifespan. Prophet Adam bequeathed forty years of his own life to Prophet David, who thought his own lifetime was too short to achieve what he needed to; thus Prophet David’s time on this earth was extended by forty years, increasing his lifespan to eighty years. Although this event is not mentioned in the Qur’an, it is related by the most important hadiths sources like Bukhari and Muslim.
From the early periods, the subject of transfer of a person’s lifetime to another as a consequence of relevant prayers was a recognized phenomenon between saintly people; however, such a thing can only be realized given that there is conformity between the spiritual worlds of the people in question, that the prayer is perfectly sincere, for God answers the supplication in the same way it was asked for. Perhaps, a similar case of sincere devotion can be realized when the rights of relatives are observed and in this way the Permanent Existent One, God Almighty may extend the lifetime of that person.
Another reason why the Giver of Life, extends one’s life could be the possibility of rendering the deeds of that person more fruitful as if he or she lived a longer life; if the reward in the Hereafter depends on the deeds and good actions one has performed in this physical world then the longer the term, the greater its harvest in the permanent realm. For instance the Night of Power is recognized by all Muslims to be greater in reward than a thousand months of worship; if a believer manages to tap into the Divine Mercy during this night they will be rewarded as if they have lived on the earth for more than eighty years. This could be God’s way of increasing good deeds, acts of charity and the lives of sincere believers.
Another possibility why family relations are considered to prolong one’s life is perhaps proportional to the importance given to family ties. This undoubtedly is a highly esteemed principle in Islam but in modern times, unfortunately has become widely neglected.
It is very important to regularly visit family members in turn, beginning with close family, mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, grandparents and then aunts and uncles. In the recent times respect for the nearest of kin, like one’s own mother or father has unfortunately dropped to regrettable lows. When after receiving the first revelations of the Qur’an the Prophet told his wife Khadija: “I fear for myself,” the intimate companion and beloved wife of the Prophet answered, saying: “Do not fear; by God, He will never humiliate you. You maintain the family bonds, you bear people’s burdens, and you help the destitute.” It is quite clear by her statement and also by a similar statement made by her cousin Waraqa ibn Nawfal that during that period family relationships were of significant importance.
When the noble Prophet was being oppressed by the unbelievers, Abu Bakr said: “O Messenger of God! One like you, who helps the poor and maintains family bonds, does not deserve this!” Again when he was seeking protection from the Quraysh for his fellow Companions, Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, mentioned family bonds in his appeal.
All these different scenarios and contexts are revealing of the strong custom of family ties. Throughout history, the likes of similar reports about kinship demonstrate the eminent role that families played across many different civilizations. In earlier times sons and daughters would live along with their parents and children in the same home; this practice of extended family settings are still the norm in some parts of the world. Since family is the basic unit of society, the greater the bond and affection between them, the stronger and healthier the society is.